BREAKING NEWS: KUBRICK'S JUPITER PROBE FOUND ON DWARF PLANET

Remains of Discovery One on dwarf planet Ceres

 I  t's official: NASA scientist have confirmed that the mysterious lights on the dwarf planet Ceres are, in fact, the remains of the Jupiter spaceship Discovery One that was piloted by Keir Dullea and Gary Lockwood in 1969.

"We don't know quite how it ended up there, but it seems clear from the movie that Keir Dullea experienced some bizarre hallucinations just before we lost contact with him and the ship was certainly in that region of space."

NASA has not published the closeup photographs of the wreckage out of respect for the families involved.

Discovery One near Jupiter

"Keir was a good friend, a great astronaut," says retired NASA director Gene Kranz, who oversaw the launch and mission of the Discovery One. He was also the last person to have had any contact with the ship. "It took almost eight hours for our transmissions to reach the ship," explains Kranz, "so when I heard Keir's last transmission the ship had probably already crashed on Ceres. He wasn't making any sense at that point—he was rambling about disabling HAL and seeing lights everywhere."

"He asked if someone had perhaps spiked his Tang with LSD as a joke. I assured him that was not possible," Kranz continued.

"He will be missed."